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Changing What Never Changes

Changing What Never Changes

When we have people influencing the wrong things we are not only limiting our potential but we are causing them undue stress.

Mike Rhoades | Dec 30, 2015

All of us want to change something. New years for us, has become a metaphorical reset button. All the things we hated about the last year now seem changeable.  However, despite the best of intentions most of us fail to make significant changes in our personal lives, in our organizations, and in our faith. We may see progress and make minor adjustments to our lives but by and large  we tend to settle back into old routines.  Many of is tend to burn out or hit the eject button before we actually get to our goal. So here are three core practices that I believe could change your ability to change. Most of us at one time or another will hit a road block. Over the years I've watched people do one of two things, get comfortable or burn out. The reason is actually pretty simple, they are trapped in a perspective bubble. When things get tough, most of us struggle to listen and to admit we need help. We tend to insulate precisely when it's most critical to incorporate. It's important to realize your perspective is limited. The simple fact that others approach the same problem in a completely different way makes their perspective vital to unlocking your true potential. Don't throw discernment out the window but take on a posture of humility so others can help you persevere. In many cases, I've continued to push on because others saw progress where I saw failure. Part of discerning which perspectives to incorporate involves deciding who influences what. In my everyday life I've had to stop and rethink the people that are influencing me on a number of occasions. For example, I've been trying to get into shape. It makes no sense for me to talk to my friends who hate exercise about the best way to get in shape. It makes even less sense to expect them to keep me accountable. When you are evaluating how to reach your goals, it's important to make sure you have the right people in the right seats on the bus. Asking an extremely compassionate person to give you honest feedback is probably unrealistic. They will spend half the time trying to mitigate your feelings. When we have people influencing the wrong things we are not only limiting our potential but we are causing them undue stress. More than likely, asking a person to do the wrong thing frustrates them just as much as you. Work to align the influencers around you and your goals will become more attainable. Aside from poor perspective and wrong influencers, the number on reason people fail to cause change is because they fail to simplify. Change is never easy but the thought of new, bigger, and better can be addictive. Developing the goal and the plan is only half the battle. When faced with the daunting unknown the natural human reaction is to retreat to what they know. You need to do the hard work of simplifying your plans so that you can eliminate as much of the unknown as possible. Success is not a given, you can't control the outcome but you can control how you get there. Worst case scenario, you fail but you are able to see exactly how you failed and correct it. As you step into change this January I hope these simple but foundational concepts will help you.  

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